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Consolation

  It’s nearly been a year since my Mom died. It’s been a quick year, but a hard year. Grief is not something that you can really prepare for or understand. It doesn’t make sense. It isn’t linear, there is no timeline that fits all. It’s unpredictable. I’ll be fine one moment. Better than fine, even. Happy. Then the next as I’m doing something mundane like putting away groceries in my pantry the grief comes at me quick and the next thing I know, I’m sobbing on my kitchen floor. Then I get up and I’m okay again. It’s weird. I can say it honestly now- this past year has been the toughest I have experienced emotionally. It forced what I tried to bury up to the surface and made me look reality in the face. The reality is not pretty and it is not what I want and it will always be something that I wish were different. But it will never be different. I accept that. I do. I accept that, but it’s painful. I didn’t start writing this to talk about the pain though. I wanted to share the ...
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The antidote

  At our Parish, before Mass, we introduce ourselves to those sitting around us and we ask for their prayer intentions. (I know, I know. This makes so many of us uncomfortable. But this can be really powerful, too. We were made for community and when you really think about this it IS a good thing.) Yesterday I turned around and met Janet, an elderly woman with a warm smile who I had not met before. Her prayer request was for those who are suffering from loneliness during this holiday season. I told her that I would pray for that intention during Mass, and I did. Then I went about the rest of my day. This morning after school drop off Janet and her request popped into my mind.   I know that this time of year can be incredibly difficult for those who are lonely. I said a little silent prayer again for the lonely, and then yesterday’s gospel reading came into my mind.   In case you missed it, the gospel yesterday: Matthew 25:31-46. Jesus said to His disciples: “W...
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A different kind of workout motivation.

  Have you ever googled “workout motivation”? Oh, I have. I sometimes wish that motivation was something I could bottle up and take a big gulp of. I want to WANT to work out, but sometimes I just don’t. Know what I mean? I want all that comes with exercise. I want to feel good, I want the health benefits and I want to like the way I look in my clothes. I want the stress relief that it promises. The endorphins. I want to BE fit. But, you know, I don’t always want to do what it takes to be fit. They say motivation doesn’t last, and that’s true. That is why exercise has to become a habit in your life. You have to be disciplined. There is no getting around that. There is no easy button. But, there are some nudges that can be found if we look for them. I am always inspired by the busiest people I know who are also the most fit. Active moms being one example of this demographic, I wrote about them a while back during the craziness of 2020 (that blog post can be found here http://...
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I know you're busy, but this is important

  We just ended a season of little league baseball and softball. Well, regular season ended. We just started All Stars for our youngest. Having multiple kids in sports is B-U-S-Y. We were at the ball fields every night of the week and most of the day each Saturday. The youngest had a few different tournaments, and if you know the softball tournament world you understand that you live at the ball fields those weekends. Games on Friday night, all day Saturday and all day Sunday. The baby’s second to last regular season tournament was exhausting. It was a hot weekend, my husband was working nights the first part so I was solo with all of the kids at the fields the first night, and then the second day I was literally at the fields for 9 hours. There was no time for laundry, no time to get ready for school for the week, no time for the rest I desperately wanted. Getting home that night we hardly had the energy for showers before it was time to go to bed. The next day would be a Sund...
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Epiphany

Epiphany (according to Merrium-Webster) 1.         January 6 observed as a church festival in commemoration of the coming of the Magi as the first manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles or in the Eastern Church in commemoration of the baptism of Christ 2.         An appearance or manifestation especially of a divine being 3.         A (1): a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something     (2): an intuitive grasp of reality through something (such as an event) usually simple and striking     (3): an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure   B: a revealing scene or moment   This morning we attended our regular 10 am Mass at our home parish, St. Patrick’s in Hutto where we celebrated the feast of the Epiphany. This is known to many as “three kings day”, or the day the star led the three wise men to baby Jesus. Our pa...
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A tale of two mornings

  Morning one 5:15 am Alarm goes off. First things first, COFFEE. Strong coffee. The smell alone motivates me to move. I pour a cup and start scrolling on my phone. My Facebook feed has some things that make me smile. It also has some posts that make me cringe. Why all the negativity, Facebook? It’s too early for politics. A sad news story comes up about a missing child and makes me wonder why there is so much bad in the world. I don’t understand. 6:00 comes quick. My quiet alone time with my coffee is over. Time to get the kids up. We do this every single weekday, yet somehow my children act as if we don’t. I repeatedly go in rooms and start out nicely saying “it’s time to wake up, and get dressed, and eat breakfast”… but nice doesn’t cut it, so I morph in to lunatic mom. “I said, WAKE UP! NOW! OUT OF BED! We CANNOT BE LATE!” It’s too early to yell and now I’m irritated. The mood seeps out of me and into my kids. I’m snapping at everything. 7:00 am we need to be out the door...
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They don't even realize yet how they save me!

  I’ve blogged about my decision to go alcohol free before (  I don’t drink anymore. But nothing has changed! (Except everything.) (myonedayisnow.blogspot.com)  ) and I’m happy to update with the fact that I’m still on that dry road, one year and four months strong. I’m grateful to be able to say that in a world that is drowning in alcohol culture. I don’t need to re-visit the science behind what alcohol does to our bodies and minds, even in “moderate” amounts, because that information is available to us. I’m just thankful that I acknowledge those truths now and choose healthy. All that said, I am a human being living in the time of a pandemic. I’m a parent who has gone in to ‘mama bear’ mode of trying to keep things as normal and as joyful as possible for my six children despite the multitude of changes this year brought to them. I’m a police wife who has had many sleepless nights this year due to my husband’s job. Sometimes the weight of this world feels heavy. I kno...
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