On death and what matters

This past Saturday my family and I drove from Austin to Lubbock for my husband’s paternal grandfather’s funeral.

Jerry and Henrietta Decker

Now, what I personally knew of Grandpa Decker is that he gave big, strong bear hugs every single time I saw him, and that he had a kind smile on his face when he would watch my children – his great-grandchildren – run around and play.  What I knew of him from my husband, is that he was a hard-working man who found the time and energy to play with my husband and his siblings when they would come and visit him as children, even after a long day of farming.

This hard work I mentioned – Grandpa Decker farmed cotton.  It was undeniably hard work and he had a work ethic that has been inherited by his children and his grandchildren.  I’ve always said that one of the first traits I was attracted to upon meeting my husband was his drive.  My husband is still the most hard-working man I know, but more than that – he is grateful for his work.  He will regularly work overtime to provide for our family, and he never complains.  The only thing you’ll ever hear him say about his overtime is that he is grateful to God for the opportunity to provide for his family.  This tenacity and willingness to work can be seen in my husband and his siblings, who first saw it in their parents, who first saw it in their parents. I pray to reflect that onto our children now as well.

Grandma and Grandpa Decker were married 57 years at the time of his death and she lives in the same house they moved into when the youngest of their six children was in the third grade.  We went to the house after the funeral reception – my children jumped on the very same trampoline that my father-in-law (the eldest of the Decker six) jumped on when HE was a child! I watched them as I sat on the back porch and said a prayer of gratitude for these roots my children are so blessed to have.

Grandma Decker and her six children, at Grandpa's funeral reception

There were several difficult moments during this past weekend, of course. It was heartbreaking to see the pain and tears of Grandpa’s children and his grand-children as they mourned his death.  Even one of my children cried at his viewing – death is never easy to acknowledge and yet here we all were, saying goodbye to this man who was dearly loved and will be sorely missed.

There was something more though, and something bigger than the difficult moments.  There were moments of peace.  The kind priest who led us in the rosary the night before the funeral reminded us of who Grandpa Decker was – yes, he was a husband, a father, a grandfather, a great-grandfather. Yes, he was a farmer.  The priest reminded us, however, that first he was a baptized member of the Body of Christ – and now would be joined with Him in Heaven.  HOME.  He is home.  He reminded us of our own mortality and that this world we are living in is temporary.  What Grandpa Decker has now is eternal.  What he has now is what we all long for at the end of our lives – true rest in peace. Our faith in this promise makes us unafraid. 

Though it is sad that we no longer have Grandpa Decker with us on this Earth, it is comforting to know where he is now, and that we have the intercession of his prayers on our behalf.  We have the memories of his life, and the legacy he left behind, and those gifts are immeasurable.  What a blessing Grandpa Decker was, and still is, even in his death.

Until next time . . .