So....I don't know how to start this one. It's hard because there are certain people in my life that are going to find out about our newest addition via social media, which is never the ideal way of finding out big news. But I'm choosing this as my way.
Those in our lives that see us regularly know already that we're having our sixth baby this summer. Some that don't see us regularly have no idea. I received some negative reactions to my pregnancy with Barrett, and I just never had a moment when I felt ready to face hearing those again. So I've waited. I prayed about it, gave it up to God, and here I am. Announcing this in a blog post.
It's unfortunate that I feared other's reactions to a new baby, but I did. It's my family. It isn't easy to hear comments about how I should've prevented some of my children. It hurts, it really does.
So here is the story this time. It's different than the others.
I had zero symptoms the first half of my pregnancy. (This is truly a gift!) I was also nursing Barrett, so I had no clue, honestly, that I was pregnant. What prompted me to even test was that I was starting to lose milk supply, which had happened to me in the past while nursing and pregnant. Of course it was positive. At my first prenatal appointment my doctor performed a dating ultrasound and...surprise...I was 19 weeks!! Usually I would have felt kicks by this point in my pregnancy, but I have an anterior placenta which was blocking me from feeling them.
My husband was, as he always is, wonderful. I've always been the one to be nervous at the start of each pregnancy. I've let the world get to me, I've let the hard I know is coming scare me, and he has been the one to remind me of what we have. "We're so blessed, babe" he says time and time again. And we are. And wow, I am. I'm married to a man who loves our children so much that he works his tail off to provide for them. And he shuts off the stress of work when he comes home, and spends all night playing with them, loving on them. Best Dad I know.
So, we'll be a family of eight. EIGHT! I honestly couldn't have ever predicted this for my life. And I know some of you reading are wondering why we're doing this. Why we keep having children. And all I can say is our fertility is a gift from God that we haven't rejected. It might be more comfortable to have less kids, more money, more sleep. But the joy wouldn't be the same. It wouldn't even come close.
I want to share a story with you all. A couple of years back, Michael's great-grandmother, Grandma Kuba, passed away. She was 103 years old. She was a mother of ten. One of her sons was a police officer and was killed many years ago, but the others all sat in the first two pews of the church during her funeral mass. I had to stand in the back with Scarlett who was a baby at the time, and I spent some time during the mass looking at who was filling the pews. Grandma Kuba's funeral was attended by her children, grand-children, great-grand-children, and great-great-grand-children. I kind of had this epiphany in that moment and I realized that at the end of my life, I want that. I want to be surrounded with my family. I want to know I spent my greatest effort in raising the children God has entrusted to us. I can't imagine anything in my life having more meaning than what I do every day with these little people given to me to love and be loved by. After that funeral, one of Grandma Kuba's sons, Uncle Milton, walked up to Michael and I and gave us a crucifix that had belonged to her. It's hanging in our living room now. As he handed the crucifix to Michael, he said with tears in his eyes, "I hope your family is as blessed as hers was."
And look at how blessed we are.
Oh and by the way, our new baby is a GIRL. Here is an ultrasound photo. Isn't she beautiful?
And is the latest of all of us.
Thank you Jesus for blessing me with so much more than I deserve.
Until next time....