Thoughts from a writing mom

Occasionally writing these days.  Mostly am being a wife, a Mom, a student and a pregnant lazy person...  meaning I'm taking more naps than usual and eating more than I should.  Eh.  Pregnancy doesn't last forever.  Sometimes I sit down to write and everything flows and I'm smiling and it's wonderful.  Other times I don't even want to open up the lap top, I just want to eat and go to bed. But I will continue.  I hope I look back on these slow writing days and laugh.  I hope one day I have the time and energy to sit for three hours or more without interruptions or fatigue and just put words on pages.  For now, I will chip away at the book and continue to spend most of my energy being a wife and mom.  I know I will never regret giving them the best of me, and I know they love me for it.

So sleepy these days.  I suppose it's because I'm pregnant.  I am about to work a bit on the book before I crash though.  I need to, I'm almost to 19,000 words and once I get to 20 I feel like I will have made a pretty good start.  I need to finish, I need to send it out to agents.  I need to be able to do this for a living.  I have had this desire since I was a little girl, but it means so much more now.  My husband is working so hard for us, I want to give back to him.  My kids are my whole world, I want to be able to provide whatever they need.  I want to show them that they can do anything they really want to do.  So.  Off I go to get some work done.

I've yet to let anyone know about this blog.  Still not sure when I'll do that, but this is on the internet forever anyways, right??  I realize it's been a very long time since my last post.  I haven't been writing much, it's depressing.  And completely my fault.  I can honestly say that I have just been lazy.  I still want this, I still feel a need to finish my book...so I have to stop neglecting my work.  Starting today. I do kind of have an excuse for my laziness though.  I said earlier our family had news and this isn't exactly shocking...but...we're pregnant with our third.  Yep.  My oldest is two, my youngest is almost 11 months, and I'm due January 2nd with another baby.  We're busy.  It's chaotic and it will be even more chaotic.  However, we know just how blessed we are.  And I'm getting tons of future writing material.  :) This is it for now.  Got to get back to that book I'm wanting so badly to finish.  Still have a loooong

It's been the slowest couple of writing weeks since January, when I decided to finish this 'project' I started the January prior.  Why has it been slow?  A couple of reasons actually...first...big news for our family.  Very big.  Can't share just yet, but I will...later.  And second, I got some kind of food poisoning, or stomach virus, or something really bad.  I was very sick.  Very, very sick.  It was not a fun time for me. But, I'm over it, I'm ready to make more progress with my book.  I'm thinking I may even need to share this blog with some family or friends.  Isn't it silly that I haven't yet?  The majority of my friends and family have NO IDEA that I'm even writing a book.  I have no idea what I'm afraid of.  I'm hoping somehow this blog will help me with all of this...

As I type this my youngest is in my arms.  For some reason, lately, my kids aren't going to bed on time.  For the past few nights it's been rough and by the time they are finally asleep I want to be asleep as well....so not a lot of work is getting done on the book.  Not that I'm not thinking about it, because I am.  It's on my mind a lot. The kiddos, though, they are the priority.  Always will be.  I have to admit my frustration gets me sometimes, but then all it takes is for the little one to smile at me or the oldest to say "Mommy, look!" as she holds up a paper she scribbled on with crayon and my worries go away.  I know taking care of them is my most important work. Can I get this thing written before my kids are grown??  I have to believe I can.  :)

Worked a bit on the book, which is untitled and will be for a while I think.  I've had a few ideas, but nothing seems to fit yet.  If anyone ever reads this blog, I would hope they would also go on to read my book, so I won't be sharing everything that the book entails.  But I will share little tidbits here and there.  It's fiction, it's written from a female perspective (because they say "write what you know" and well, that is the perspective I know) and it has a major theme of forgiveness.  My main character did something that I hate almost more than anything in this world. And that is all I will share about that for now. I need to get back to it.  My kids are sleeping and I am going to write a bit more as I enjoy a cold beer I just opened.  Then it's bed time for me as well. 

And I will be sleeping soon.  I'm tired.  A toddler and infant will do that to you.  Yet, here I am, starting a blog...what????  I didn't really think I ever would.  However, I'm writing my book.  And planning to finish it this time...not like "projects" I started in the past, only to quit on them and never look at them again.  This book is different.  I'm excited about it.  I think this is going to be the start of a writing career.  I've told my husband how I feel, but I know he secretly thinks I'm crazy.  I haven't told too many others in my life that I am writing a book.  I realize that it's a long shot, this dream of becoming a published author.  The dream of making a living writing novels.  But it's my dream nonetheless.  So here I am.  I'll be posting about my journey along the way, writing my book, writing my query letter and hoping an agent likes what I write...and just seeing what happens from there.  Is this crazy or what?