This past weekend I attended the first annual eLectio
Publishing author’s conference. Just in
case you aren’t aware, eLectio is a small independent press who published my
fiction novella, Absolved. (You can find my book by clicking the link here)
I doubted I would go upon
first learning of the conference. I’ve
been so busy with kids, obviously. It is a good busy, please do not
misunderstand my use of the word. It is a wanted busy. However I allowed this busy to be my excuse
to stay away from anything else, including any book marketing or promotion. It’s a valid excuse, yes? I mean, come on. Six kids under the age of
seven. It’s a battle to even shower
daily. I’ll be straight forward about that.
The truth is, however, I could have put some time and effort
into putting my book out there. The kids weren’t really holding me back. I was just afraid. Afraid of criticism (which really, I need to
welcome as it can help me) and I was afraid of friends and family having
negative opinions of my work. Terrified, honestly.
The conference has changed me a bit. Why? A combination of occurrences.
( God knew I needed this conference) The first was the motivation provided to
me by speakers at the conference. One example of this was some words that
resonated with me from internationally renowned speaker and author Mike
Rodriguez. He told us that we are each
the CEO’s of our own lives, and that we ourselves are the ones that dictate
whether or not negativity will live in our minds. He told us to stop allowing the opinions of
others to dictate our actions. Simple as that. Opinions are opinions. They hold
no weight unless you allow them to. And of course this is true. It can be
uncomfortable, putting yourself out there, exposing yourself to the opinions of
others. But uncomfortable is GOOD. Comfort doesn’t usually move you. “In order
to have, you have to do,” he said. And that can be uncomfortable. But success
never comes comfortably, does it?
The second big takeaway from this weekend was how inspired I
was by my fellow authors. We all come from different areas of the country, have
different backgrounds, fit a different demographic….and yet we all share a
common core in our love for writing. We really felt like our own little
community despite our differences. It
was wonderful. They each inspire me to
commit to my work as they have and as they are.
Thirdly, and the biggest takeaway for me personally from the
conference, is how empowered I felt by my publishers. It is important I share
this so let me explain. Put yourself in my position for a moment. I have six kids. The youngest is 7 months
old, is still nursing, and does not take a bottle. In order for me to attend this conference, I
had to have her in tow. I was nervous to ask if she could come along with me –
but I worked up the courage and asked eLectio CEO Jesse if I could bring my
daughter with me to the conference. You all know this already, he said
yes. He said that he is a father of
three daughters and he understood. And
off we went, baby and me. Even though
Jesse had said it was alright, I was still nervous to take her. I was worried it wouldn’t be received well, a
baby at a conference. I imagined getting
dirty looks and having whispers behind me of “what the heck is a baby doing at
an author’s conference?”
Not only was my Marian Grace allowed to be with me, she was
welcomed. Embraced. She was treated so sweetly by my fellow authors. eLectio CEO and COO even jokingly gave her
the title of “future eLectio author.”
My experience was one that made me feel proud. Proud of
being both mother, and author, at the same time. I can and am doing both. This conference made
me feel empowered.
If you’ve already read my book, you know the story involves a
post-abortive woman. You know she regrets her decision to terminate her
pregnancy, and for some of you reading now, you know this feeling personally.
You know it is a very real and painful regret.
While we are on this, I need for you to know that www.hopeafterabortion.com exists
for you. You are never alone in this.
I mention this because I can’t help but think of the
pro-choice side and what I have heard from them before: that abortion is empowering. That abortion liberates women. I want to tell you that it isn’t. That is a lie. The abortion industry may say
that a child will hinder your plans, a child may get in the way of your dreams.
Slow you down in life. Those are lies.
All lies. I want to tell you that having
your children, not terminating them, is what is empowering. Truly.
Bringing a baby to a conference? Empowering. Giving birth?
Empowering. Adopting a child?
Empowering. Spending every ounce of your
energy raising human beings to be decent, good, honest adults? THAT is
empowering. It takes real strength to
parent well.
Society may not always put a lot of emphasis on the value of
parenting. Our culture might tell you
that it’s just too hard. Meanwhile,
other hard things are praised. Training
6 days a week for a triathalon? Amazing! Good for you! Working 60+ hours a week to get ahead at your
job? Amazing! Good for you! Going to school full time while working full time?
Amazing! Good for you! Raising little
kids? Changing dirty diapers, cleaning up after them all day, teaching them
about the world? UGH! Sorry for you. How
about you use some birth control and give yourself a break??
See where I am going with this? The great is found in the hard. This is true
with all of those aforementioned things such as athletic events, degrees and
more. But what the world may not always
mention is that the great is in the hard of raising children too. It really is.
You know what? It’s
empowering. Authentically
empowering. If you are a parent reading
this, do not – under any circumstance – underestimate the value of what you do.
What you’re doing is invaluable. Not
only to your children, but to the society which you are raising them to take a
part in. You deserve every accolade in
the world. Be proud of your title as parent.
Until next time…
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