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In the aftermath of more mass shootings.

El Paso. Dayton. Innocents killed and it's non-sensical.  But honestly, it isn't shocking, is it? It's happened too many times now.
Immediately following these tragedies I read news stories of the lives lost and feel heartache for their families. I feel anger for them. And then, I think of my kids and I am fearful.  I don't want to take them to the store, where this could happen. Or to school next week, because shootings happen at schools, too. I've seen advertisements for bulletproof backpacks this year. Bulletproof backpacks. This is our reality.
It's all overwhelming and I sometimes think - okay, Jesus. You can come take us all away now. This is too much and I just want for us all to say goodbye to this Earth.
That isn't the way I am supposed to feel though. Life is still a gift, even amid the suffering and amid the hard and amid the unimaginable.
So, I pray. I spend time with my kids. I take them to the movies even though in the back of my mind I have trepidation of being in public. I laugh with them, and play with them, and try to make the most of our day.
Then I scroll Facebook and see the division on every other post. Grown adults hurl insults to relatives and friends over gun control. Or over politicians, or political parties or political platforms that they say are to blame.
I don't understand this. I myself am a police officer's wife. A police officer who is a firearms instructor and a marksmanship team member. A man who likes guns, who is knowledgeable on the subject of guns and who shoots really, really well. Perhaps my husband has had a hand in shaping my perspective, sure.  But I don't blame guns for the mass shootings for the same reason I don't blame breweries and distilleries for the 10,874 lives lost in 2018 due to drunk driving.
But you know what else? I also don't blame the people who seek more gun control for their beliefs either.  They are not my enemy for having a difference of opinion. We are all hurt over these losses. We all want some sort of solution.
No matter which side you're on, wouldn't it be nice if we could come together and work towards real solutions? Is that wishful thinking? It just seems counterproductive to argue.
But I don't know the answer or solution. I just know that my current role is to mother the six souls entrusted to me to become good adults who love others. I know that my role as a citizen is to vote for politicians who will lead with sound moral character (where ARE they? I pray for better men and women who will lead with humility and compassion and intelligence to step up.)
Mostly, I know to continue to pray and trust God through it all. I will continue to look to Him. I will continue to point my children to Him as well. He is the only peace that I am sure of.
I pray today whoever reading looks to Him as well.

Until next time . . .

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