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I don’t drink anymore. But nothing has changed! (Except everything.)

Hi, my name is Christy, and I don’t drink. I used to. I used to drink kinda frequently, actually. But now I don’t.  No, I didn’t hit some ‘rock bottom’ moment, like drinking and driving and almost killing myself (or someone else.) I didn’t stop taking care of my responsibilities while drinking. I still woke up and took care of my kids every day. I just decided that it was getting to be too much. I was starting to dislike the way I felt. And I quit.


I don’t drink anymore, but nothing has changed. (Except everything.)




I used to be the first to say, with a laugh, “I don’t WANT to parent without alcohol!” Parenting is hard. My children are gifts that I thank God for daily, but the work involved with raising them is the hardest work I’ve ever done. ‘Mommy wine’ culture is a thing, and I was all about it. (well, I wasn’t so much a wine girl as a beer girl, but nonetheless I bought all of the 'mommy juice' sentiment that came with drinking.) I would tell myself that I deserved to drink because I did really hard work and alcohol was my reward. Nothing has changed – parenting is still hard. Nothing has changed – I still need ways to de-stress.  Nothing has changed – I still reward myself for the work I do. Except everything has changed in the way that I do that. Turns out, I was self-sabotaging every time I drank to relieve stress. Alcohol makes stress worse. Alcohol was adding fuel to my anxiety. Using alcohol to cope with stress actually makes a person’s response to stress worse. Alcohol is a known depressant, yet I was turning to it to make me feel . . . better? COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE, to say the very least.  Living alcohol free has made my anxiety nearly disappear. My mind is always clear. I still have stress and that will never change – but to combat that I work out a lot more now. I feel healthy, and I feel strong. Exercise is the de-stressor that makes me not only feel good but it’s making me look a whole lot better too. Alcohol was not helping me to relax or ridding me of my stress – it was making it all much, much worse.

 My family on my last birthday, the first birthday in a long while in which I didn't celebrate with alcohol. We celebrated with a baseball game and I was feeling happy and especially blessed on that day!



Nothing has changed! You can still invite me to your party (or wedding, or house warming, or football watching party, or whatever) and I can still be around the alcohol though I won’t consume any. I can still have a great time, too. Nothing has changed. I’ll still two-step with my husband (I was able to do this only a couple of weeks ago at his cousin’s wedding, and again this past weekend at an awards gala.) I’ll still enjoy laughter and small talk. I’ll still watch the game and cheer for my team. Nothing has changed. These functions were always great because of the people, never because of the drinks. Nothing has changed – I can still have an amazing time at a party. But everything has changed in the way I’ll feel after. The old me drank a lot at celebrations. The old me would wake up a little hungover the next day. The old me would fall asleep quickly after a night of drinking, but wake up feeling as though I didn’t sleep at all. Turns out there was a reason for that – science tells us that while alcohol does allow healthy people to fall asleep quicker, it actually reduces rapid eye movement sleep, and the lack of REM sleep causes drowsiness and poor concentration that next day. I never experience those crappy day-after-drinking feelings anymore. Nothing has changed – I still enjoy all of the outings that I used to drink at. But everything has changed about how I feel after them. I'll never have a hangover again.
My husband and I on a date last month! Sitting at the back patio of a bar, watching the Astros. He had a Coke, I had a club soda and cranberry. Our bar tab? $4. Can't beat that and we had a great time.

My family at the aforementioned wedding. Zero drinks. I danced with my husband and my nephew and my kids. We visited with family members we don't always get to see. Then we woke up the next morning in our hotel feeling great!


All dressed up for my husband's awards gala. I didn't need alcohol to feel the pride as I watched my husband receive his award, and I didn't need alcohol to have fun that night. 


Nothing has changed! I’m still me. Except everything has changed. I’m healthier than before. I sleep better than before. I’m getting fitter than I’ve been since my early twenties (maybe even better than then.) I snap less at my kids. I snap less at my husband (that man deserves an award for putting up with the drinking me, but more on that another time.) I have more energy. My skin looks better.

Nothing has changed! Except my grocery bill is lower. And the recycling bin in our garage no longer smells like stinky beer cans. It's filled with empty sparkling water cans, now.

Nothing has changed! Except I don't drink my calories anymore, so my body is shrinking.


Nothing has changed! I’m still aging a little every day. Except now with a lower cancer risk of SIX different cancers – mouth and throat, larynx, esophagus, colon and rectum, liver and breast.  And except now with a healthier heart. Drinking alcohol raises the levels of some fats in the blood, raises blood pressure and can lead to heart failure. (See sources listed below this post)


Nothing has changed! Except everything has changed. For the better.


HOW DID I DO IT? Want the honest truth? I prayed about it at Mass. It's funny what happens when we turn to God for help.  And I started reading up on alcohol. I can’t recommend “This Naked Mind” by Annie Grace enough. Seriously, if you’ve ever been even a tiny bit ‘sober curious’ you should get this book. Right now. I want for you to buy this book so I’m including the link – https://www.amazon.com/this-naked-mind-discover-happiness/dp/0996715002


Here’s the other thing that you may need to be reminded of: none of us have ever needed to drink. Not to relieve stress. Not to have fun. Not to ‘fit in’, not to celebrate, not to be more social. We are all ALREADY equipped with what we need sans ethanol in our bodies. God created us to be so much more than what we often settle for. It’s a tragedy, really, to see how often we forget that.

So. I’m a non-drinker now, and it’s awesome. I dare you to try the alcohol-free life!


Until next time . . .



Sources used for this blog post:

Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research. “Stress and alcohol ‘feed’ each other.” ScienceDaily. Science-Daily, 19 July 2011. www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/07/110715163216.htm

“Alcohol and a Good Night’s Sleep Don’t mix.” Denise Mann. WebMD, 22 January 2013. www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/news/20130118/alcohol-sleep

“Alcohol and Cancer” CDC.Gov last reviewed 8 July 2019. www.cdc.gov/cancer/alcohol/index.htm

“Alcohol and Heart Health” Heart.org last reviewed 15 August 2014. www.heart.org/en/healthy-eating/eat-smart/nutrition-basics/alcohol-and-heart-health


Comments

  1. I started with Sober October with the intentions of not drinking the last 90 days of this year. I was in a very similar situation as you. Nothing major happened but I knew it needed to stop or at the very least slow down. So I challenged myself. Here I am a month and a half in. Sometimes... I really want a glass of wine. But my promise to myself is more important than that glass of wine. I honestly hope that by the end of the 90 days I wont have the "craving" anymore. And... I am also in the best shape of my mothering life! Yoga helps to destress. If I could just find time for it every single day that would be great. Thanks for this! I appreciate you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Congrats on a month and a half in! That’s amazing! Isn’t it surprising how much better it is to skip out on drinking?? 😊

      Delete
  2. Again you amaze me! Your heart and soul is in the right place! You are truly blessed by God!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you for sharing your story. You give me courage to share mine. I also am alcohol free for a year, and I also read ,”The Alcohol Experiment” by Annie Grace. I went through her program as well.

    ReplyDelete

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