Skip to main content

Stacey.


Stacey’s childhood is innocent and sweet.  She is a simple girl who has good manners and makes good grades in school.  Her mother can be hard on her, but only because she wants Stacey to be her very best. 

Stacey’s heart belongs to her father.  Although he is a very busy man, and gone often, while he is at home he makes her feel like she is the most important girl in the world.  He is always still in his work tie as he plays with her and reads her fairy tales, but she doesn’t mind.  She twirls his tie with her fingers as she uses his chest for a pillow while he tells stories, always animated and making up the funniest voices as he reads.  He is her hero.  Stacey believes her dad is the very best there is, and often prays he can spend less time at work and more time with her.

Fast forward five years.  Stacey is a teenager in her junior year of high school.  She is sad, withdrawn, lonely.  She finds comfort in the attention of the boys that tell her she is pretty.  She gives herself away to them in the hopes that it will make them love her.  She has a hole in her heart that came to be at the age of 12, when her father left.  There had been no warning that he was going.  Stacey had come home from school to find her mother weeping at the kitchen table and her father’s belongings gone.  He left without explanation.  He left without saying goodbye.  And what hurt Stacey the most was that he never came back to visit and never called.  It was if he had never loved her at all.  Now she would seek a different kind of love to make herself feel wanted.

Fast forward ten years.  Stacey’s life has continued on even though at times she felt it wasn’t possible.  She is able to meet and trust a good man.  She may even be able to have the kind of life she always wanted, if she could just get past the guilt.  She is holding something inside…a secret that haunts her and makes her feel unworthy of love.  She also carries the weight of resentment toward her father, the man she blames for her mistakes that led to the ultimate mistake of her life.

Now she knows she cannot be weighed down by this hurt anymore.  The pain is destroying her on the inside while she tries to hide it on the outside.

What are the steps Stacey needs to take to begin healing?  Is it possible to move on?  Find out on April 8th, when Absolved is released and available for purchase.

Until next time…

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Consolation

  It’s nearly been a year since my Mom died. It’s been a quick year, but a hard year. Grief is not something that you can really prepare for or understand. It doesn’t make sense. It isn’t linear, there is no timeline that fits all. It’s unpredictable. I’ll be fine one moment. Better than fine, even. Happy. Then the next as I’m doing something mundane like putting away groceries in my pantry the grief comes at me quick and the next thing I know, I’m sobbing on my kitchen floor. Then I get up and I’m okay again. It’s weird. I can say it honestly now- this past year has been the toughest I have experienced emotionally. It forced what I tried to bury up to the surface and made me look reality in the face. The reality is not pretty and it is not what I want and it will always be something that I wish were different. But it will never be different. I accept that. I do. I accept that, but it’s painful. I didn’t start writing this to talk about the pain though. I wanted to share the ...

A love story

Once upon a time, a 20-year-old female sailor was almost arrested for violating article 134 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice.   What was she doing, you ask?   Well, she was conducting in a nature that would bring discredit to the Navy.   More specifically?   She was drinking under the age of 21.   Even more specifically?   She was drinking a bottle of Bud Light, with approximately 8-10 other young sailors, in a friend’s barracks room. This young girl knew she shouldn’t have been drinking underage.   But she wasn’t very bright, and was not thinking of the consequences of her actions if she were to be caught, so she did it anyway. That evening, a young male sailor on duty (he was a master-at-arms in the Navy, in other words-military police) was patrolling the barracks.   He’ll tell you now, if you ask him, that he was bored and looking for something to do. Well, he found something.   He found the aforementioned girl and her ...

I don’t drink anymore. But nothing has changed! (Except everything.)

Hi, my name is Christy, and I don’t drink. I used to. I used to drink kinda frequently, actually. But now I don’t.   No, I didn’t hit some ‘rock bottom’ moment, like drinking and driving and almost killing myself (or someone else.) I didn’t stop taking care of my responsibilities while drinking. I still woke up and took care of my kids every day. I just decided that it was getting to be too much. I was starting to dislike the way I felt. And I quit. I don’t drink anymore, but nothing has changed. (Except everything.) I used to be the first to say, with a laugh, “I don’t WANT to parent without alcohol!” Parenting is hard. My children are gifts that I thank God for daily, but the work involved with raising them is the hardest work I’ve ever done. ‘Mommy wine’ culture is a thing, and I was all about it. (well, I wasn’t so much a wine girl as a beer girl, but nonetheless I bought all of the 'mommy juice' sentiment that came with drinking.) I would tell myself that I deser...